So here I am just 8 days from my scheduled c-section date, realizing that I'm about to not be pregnant anymore! I love being pregnant. I rarely have any huge complaints...maybe a little anxiety and nausea, some swelling, this time the contractions, and the sleepiness. But overall I can't complain and actually seem to miss being pregnant after the baby arrives. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting my new babies, but also realize that I'm about to enter the world of no sleep, breastfeeding around the clock, worrying about newborn health and illness, recovering from a c-section, figuring out how to care for a BOY, and trying to take care of two preschoolers whose behavior challenges have seemed to escalate as we approach Peter's arrival. It will surely be an adventure! But I'm excited! I just can't wait to meet this little man...to see what he looks like, cuddle the newborn cuteness, and try on all the beautiful clothes we've received.
Another big transition that I know will be hard is the fact that Ellie will no longer be my "baby". Sure she's 2 1/2 and won't let me call her a baby anymore, but she's still such an attached mommy's girl, just like Mary Clare was. I remember really dreading that part of her own arrival and kicking MC out of the baby position. Just the concern of being away for 2 or 3 nights at the hospital makes me sad for her (even though I really love my own hospital "vacations"!). She still calls for me most nights wanting her sippy cup of water. This morning I brought her to the doctor for a concern I've had for a few weeks (it was nothing, praise God!). Oh, how she holds and snuggles and just loves being held by mommy, especially when she's scared. I'm sure this will be a big transition for her, but of course one that over the course of time will result in all positive blessings! She is already becomming such a big girl; her vocabulary has exploded and she and Mary Clare can content themselves playing house, church, doctor, or dance class together for hours.
Mary Clare will now be my big helper. She's almost 5 (how did that happen? 5 years old?), and is already the little mommy! She is anxiously awaiting Peter's arrival moreso than the rest of us. She gets so excited when babies come over and still brings her own dolls and their diaper bags on most of our outings. Her behavior outbursts have been a bit shocking to me recently, but along with losing her "blankey" comforts she's had since infancy, I know she's also noticing that Mommy is slowly disappearing into baby world...I can't spend as much time with her, and just don't have the energy to feed all her curiosities and learning desires right now. Thankfully Daddy helps out in the evenings. Last night they had a Hide and Seek marathon and then learned about US states and colored a map! My 2 goals for yesterday were doing some homeschooling with MC and folding the laundry, neither of which I did, but at least Steven helped me check one of those off!
Tomorrow morning will be my 38 week appointment. I'm wondering if all these contractions are causing me to dilate even more and would not be surprised if the doctor wanted to move up the delivery date. I'll keep you guys posted! But if all is well, I'll be heading home to a housefull of guests for my last Regnum Christi meeting and pizza lunch before baby arrives. I'll also have my last afternoon of tutoring tomorrow. I'll be sad to say goodbye to my student and the extra funds it's helped us with this fall, but glad to be able to focus on my own little students for now!
Well, I hope you all have a beautiful feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe today! May our sweet Mother in Heaven pray for us and our little blessings. May the roses of God's grace be ever apparent to you all today!
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7 comments:
Oh, I'm so jealous. I have always loved my pregnancies until this one. Now every day feels like an eternity and all of my pregnant friends are having their babies. I know mine's not ready but oh how I wish it were time!
I'll be praying for you and your family!
I missed being pregnant soooo much after Beth was born! Of course there's all sorts of wonderful new things afterward (including the vacation!), but there's just something incredibly amazing about that little life inside of you. :-)
We share a lot of the same concerns...especially about cuddly, clingy Mariana losing her babyhood. But like you, I am trying to realize that there are many more blessings in store, including a new sweet little baby who will be another great playmate for the girls once she grows a little!
What a beautiful post, Blair. I can identify with so much that you write. My kids are closer together, so I have REALLY been feeling that sadness as my baby, who really is a baby, approaches big brotherhood.
I was always so sad to stay in the hospital away from the other children, but actually the kids always did fine and ended up EXTREMELY attached to Daddy after the whole affair. It is amazing what 2 days can do. I think Mike has been Nathan's favorite parent (actually, I know this, as Nathan mentions it frequently;) since I stayed in the hospital with Mary T. and then Lucy. With me always there they always went to me and never got that chance to get really close to Mike. Of course, our situation was a bit different because Mike was gone all the time.... but still... I bet the girls are going to have a great time with Steven. Hang in there through these last days! We're praying for you!
Oh, I know how you feel! I was in your shoes just a few months ago. But, in some ways in seems like a lifetime ago. It's hard to remember what life was like before Gustin was born.
Blair, I loved your post! I remember rubbing my belly over and over again after AJ was born. I missed the kicks and the feeling of carrying a precious life inside me. BUT, just wait until you meet him and see how much your girls love him--it will be incredible! Sending happy thoughts and prayers your way...rest up as much as you can ;) What an exciting time!!
I am mulling over these same feelings...and I have 4 more months to go! Thanks for sharing these thoughts, it helps me to know that we all have these worries about the future. Thank goodness God knows what is best for our lives and that we may trust in His ways! I am praying for your labor and the transition for the whole family. The girls are going to adore Peter, everything will be just perfect! Now go get some sleep while you still can! ;)
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