Friday, September 12, 2014

The long drama-filled journey

Our second week at the hotel has been much better than the first!  No stomach viruses. Yay.  The kids sorta got into a little schooling routine that went like....walk down the hall for the free hotel breakfast while mom was still in bed, do one easy subject like practicing a poem, sneak on the TV while mom is in the bathroom or putting the baby down, do a workbook page, disappear down the hall for awhile, do part of another school lesson, get in a fight with a sibling over a pencil (or room key, or piece of gum), lose your school book (or remember that it's at home), then grandparents would show up for swimming or it was time for ballet class, and we'd have a mad rush to try to finish all we could.  But it was never completely finished.

I have no idea how I'm going to stay on top of all the MODG subjects for all the kids.  And we're not even doing all the subjects like art or music.  Just the reviewing and grading of Mary Clare's work is like a full time job.  So we're doing our best.  And I'm anxiously awaiting the phone call with my consultant on Monday.  I'm hoping she has some helpful hints at how I can do this without an extra set of hands or eyes or ears or mouth.  I'm also hoping that maybe this whole hotel situation is what is making it extra hard too.  Since we're living in two rooms with two TVs and a computer and a LOT of distractions.  And a fair bit of stress and unknowns.

SO...I should be glad that we're going home this weekend, right?  WRONG.  I'm actually struggling quite a bit.  I've gotten used to the two weeks of this little carefree, but crazy hotel life.  I don't have to cook breakfast, someone cleans our rooms, we have so few belongings that it's not hard to keep up with them, grandparents are helping a lot, we have some fun activities with friends, and Steven has been here most nights.  It's still crazy with five kids in a hotel and not really having a break, but at least I don't have to worry about showing a house in the middle of the homeschool day.  I am worried that could drive me looney.  Except that we haven't had all that many showings.  Boo.

We were hoping we'd have an offer on the house by now.  And I was hoping we'd have found a house and that we'd have a moving date to focus on.  All summer I was thinking we'd be moving this weekend.  Instead we're in what seems like another LONG, drama-filled journey to the next step.  I feel like all the big things in our life are just that...long and drama-filled!  Our move to Corpus Christi was decided in July and it took four months to get there.  Finding our current home that we bought was about a six month process.  Even things like Steven Joseph's heart surgery, the rental cabin situation while we waited for Katie's arrival, school and job changes...all the things feel like they take forever to work out, and I feel like everyone around me thinks we are nuts and wonders what in the world is going on with our crazy life!

And maybe I am crazy, because I'm trying to take the next step before we're there.  I'm having a hard time living in the present.  But Steven has been working here most weekdays since July, and it just doesn't make sense in my head (or my heart) for us to be in Corpus alone while he's working here, our families are here, and all the activities we'll be joining soon are here.  It's really hard for me.  But living in a hotel for weeks is also hard on me and on the kids.  I worry about them with all the stresses and upheavals of this year.  I want to give them a stable life and a comfortable home, and I know we are very close to it all coming together.  But it's so hard to not be able to see the next step or know when we will reach it.

But I know that it will all come together in God's perfect timing.  I know that His plan is much better than mine.  I just need to let go and trust that He will take care of it all.  I need to stay out of the way and pray.  As we discussed last night at a lovely mom's group, His Mother can take all our needs and petitions and make them beautiful to present to her Son.  I will entrust this situation to Mary and Joseph who know what it means to be parents, that they would ask their Son to take all our little crosses and make them sweet.  That Jesus would meet all our needs, big and small.  That He would provide all the grace we need to persevere on this journey.  Holy Family, pray for us!

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