Monday, February 24, 2014

7 Posts in 7 Days: And just like that...

Last Sunday:

This Sunday:

I'm going to attempt the "7 Posts in 7 Days" challenge with Jen at Conversion Diary ( And my hope is that I can do some more real writing and not just sharing photos and recounting our days' activities. We'll see if I can also do this with the extra challenges of recovering from major surgery, taking care of a newborn, and preparing for a baptism followed by a move back to our home!

Just like that. We went from four kids to five kids. One Sunday afternoon we spent out to eat with our friends, and the next Sunday afternoon our friends were here with us gazing at our newest blessing. Maybe I'll share my birth story later this week, but the gist is that it was an uneventful and slow overnight labor that allowed Steven to drive here, me to go to the doctor office the next morning, and then for us to schedule a c-section for later that day. 

Now I'm five days postpartum and in a kind of grieving time. Even though I've had a few traumatic deliveries, followed by two smooth deliveries, I hold an emotional attachment to each of them. I hold on to those memories. I grieve the long days and nights at the hospital. I long for the nurses to care for me, the hospital to feed me, the friends to visit me, the church volunteers to bring me Holy Communion, and the way I feel safe in that place where my life changes in such a drastic way. 

Because now we have to prepare to go back to normal living again. Now I can't be consumed with thoughts and preparations for the baby on the way. She is here. We are safe and healthy. Life will go on. We will leave our temporary rental home and move back to our real home soon. I will leave my family and friends and go back to a city that still feels foreign to me. I will take my baby there and try my hardest to be a good mom and be at peace in our home there for however much longer we call it home. 

This afternoon Steven took the boys for haircuts. We'd agreed that Thomas would lose the bowl cut when the new baby came. But when my "old" baby walked in with that buzz cut, my heart started to break and the tears started to flow. He's now a big brother. Life will go on. Just like that. He will grow up. Every day Katherine will get farther from being a newborn. And I will move from my role as pregnant, and now postpartum, to just a regular mom of five. 

But an emotional postpartum mom of five is sure how I feel right now! Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly grateful that the pregnancy and delivery went smoothly considering all of my risk-factors. I am so thankful for my doctor, for our ability to make this temporary move for the baby's arrival, and for our family and friends who have been here to help and support us. I look at this miniature human right next to me, her tiny fingers, her soft hair, her little nose, and I'm brought to tears by the miracle of it all. She went from being just a little sac on an ultrasound to a growing baby inside to being here with us outside. Just like that. 


Shannon said...

Long time reader here but rare commenter! I just had my first baby and had a csection after a long labor. Pretty traumatic for me. It had been so encouraging to see that you have had 5 sections and are doing well! I SO related to mourning the hospital experience. I, too, felt so supported and safe there after such trauma. Praying for you and your beautiful family! You inspire me so!

Mary said...

Beautiful post, Blair!
God bless you in such a wonderful time.

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