Sunday, September 24, 2006

Testing Boundaries, Giving Up Control

The behavior issues are still escalating. Steven and I are standing strong, but it's exhausting! Someone reminded me recently about how consistency in the small things now will result in an easier time with the big things later. The bedtime and hitting trials are nothing compared to those issues in the teenage years...dating, rebellion, drinking...I was so sad for a mom at our couples' group last time. We were talking about all the things we worry about like health, jobs, finances, and discipline with small children. She told us that she no longer sweats the small things. Her current worry is about her oldest son's soul (he's out of the house, in his twenties). Now there's something to stress about!

I'm also trying to remind myself about the ways I test my boundaries and try to control the things in my life which should be in God's hands, just as Mary Clare is testing me. I tell her she can sleep in my bed or hers. She wants to sleep on the couch. She submits to sleeping in her bed, but wants me to read to her. She realizes I'm not going to read to her but wants me in the room. But every time I'm in the room she's trying to run out or bring up something new that she needs me to do right this second! In the same way, I ask God over and over again for certain things. He says no or he says wait. I try to take control in some other aspect of my life and he says no again, give it to him. I can't move on in my life until I just submit my will to his. This is how it is with Mary Clare right now. Once she finally gives up control she can enjoy herself, I can enjoy myself, Ellie isn't distraught watching our battles, and we can move on with our day's activities. But right now the war wages on...

Although the battle continues in little spurts throughout the day (particularly at bedtime which is why you get to hear about it!), our normal life goes on as usual. We enjoyed our parish's fall festival this weekend and have been having lots of fun playing in the backyard with the new cooler weather. I'll add some pics to my next post. Hope you all enjoy this last week of September! Happy Fall!

1 comment:

Jill said...

Hey Blair - When Mary was experiencing these "trials" with Miss E :) I think Katie gave her a short list of bedtime rituals that seemed to help a lot with setting up a routine to move things along at bedtime. Check with Mary or Katie - I am sure they'd be happy to share!

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