Holy Week Mission Countdown

5 days to go!

Door-to-door Holy Week Mission 2006


My little missionary


Mary Clare will get to go to the "Kids' Camp" this year while the adults are at formation time, and I'm heading up the nursery.


The parish passion play


Our Holy Week focus...Christ crucified...

(pictures by Jen at jenculotta.com)


I'm not sure if I've shared about the Holy Week Missions we'll be participating in. It's a beautiful ministry of the Regnum Christi Lay Movement of sharing our Faith with the neighbors of our city and beyond. There will be hundreds of youth and families heading to Houston next Wednesday to receive formation, visit neighborhoods, welcome residents to the Holy Week events at the local parish, and celebrate Holy Week in a truly evangelistic way!

Our first family mission was last Christmas '05 when we helped with the New Orleans relief effort after Hurricane Katrina. It was a beautiful experience. Last year I helped with promotions and the nursery during the Holy Week Mission here. This year I'm coordinating volunteers, host families, and the nursery again. I'm really enjoying this work, albeit very tiring, but all for God's glory! It was amazing to hear testimonies of people coming back to the Church and the Sacraments after many years away. I also think it's so neat to see Catholics going door-to-door!

This year we'll be hosting a family from out of state with five children ages 6 and under, plus another in-utero! We have a lot to do to ready our house and prepare for the mission. But we're also thrilled to be able to share our Holy Week with "strangers" and prepare our hearts for Christ at Easter!

HELD

a beautiful song for me to meditate on today...and maybe others who've experienced miscarriage too...I am truly being held...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOufqWodFNo

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Cowgirls and Puppy Love

Can I actually be called a cowgirl now? On Saturday Steven and I spent half an hour trying to coerce the cattle to jump into the trailer to take them to auction. It was a different experience for me, but I'll admit it was fun! I wish I had a picture of me with the stick trying to get those cattle in the trailer. Those of you who've known me a long time will laugh at the thought of Blair herding cattle :-) The picture above is Mary Clare watching them eat before we loaded them up and went to the auction.



My parents' little cocker pups now have their eyes opened and are crawling all around. They are SO cute! We'll see if I can convince Steven that maybe we need a "baby puppy" (as Ellie calls them) around here ;-)

Two Dates

Last night Steven and I were finally able to go out and celebrate his graduation at a nice and fancy restaurant, Trulucks. We started the evening with a few minutes of prayer at the church where my parents were married. Then we ventured over to the restaurant for a wonderful steak dinner + stone crabs for Steven! It sure makes you feel special when the waiter comes and takes the napkin off your lap to replace it with a new one in the middle of the meal :) But I guess that's what we were paying for! Afterwards we had a nice time just going to a bookstore and having some quiet time to browse through books and magazines without chasing after children! The girls had a fun time at their Aunt Jill's and got to visit with several of their cousins. Mary Clare even got to go have a peek at her triplet cousins through the window of their house...she was SO excited!

Tonight I had a date with Jesus. A beautiful Catholic musician and singer, Michael John Poirier, led a Holy Hour and concert at our parish. It was a wonderful time of prayer and healing for me. A time to really thank God the Father for the gift of little Augustine, and to offer this child back to him. The guitar and singing was just wonderful and relaxing. And it was great to see a few friends afterwards! Thanks to my sweet husband for watching the girls :-)

Two date nights with my two favorite men makes for one happy mommy!

Mary Clare Funnies

MC on the phone with my mom: "I just fell off the swing and got some dirt on my head. Just like everyone gets on Ash Sunday"
My mom: "Actually, I think you mean Ash Wednesday"
MC: "No, like they get on their heads on Ash Sunday!"
My mom: "Well, we have ashes on Ash Wednesday"
MC: "Maybe next year you can come to our church and get ashes on Ash Sunday!"

~~~

Ellie eating a little cup of pineapple tidbits: "Apple"
MC: "No, Ellie, those are pineapples. They're apples that grow on pine trees."

So, So Blessed

to be surrounded by such wonderful Christian friends and family. I can't even begin to thank all of you who have commented here, sent emails, made phone calls, and covered our little family in prayer. It is truly humbling. But it's also beautiful to see how just one little life who lived inside me only a few days is so precious and recognized by so many people. One little life that we will never meet here. One little life so small, but SO LOVED.

I mentioned below that the name we've chosen is Augustine Patrick. I had a strong feeling that this baby was a boy. Just a few days before finding out I was expecting, I sat behind a beautiful family with 2 little toddler boys. They were rambunctious, keeping the mother and father busy all through the mass while climbing under chairs and trying to sneak out of the chapel. I couldn't help but think how much I would love a little boy. And how crazy I must be, as I watched my little girls sit quietly through the mass (for the most part)!

Augustine of Hippo was the son of St. Monica and a pagan father (who converted on his death bed). He lived a wild life, but was an intellectual who finally came to conversion through the prayers of his mother and the sermons of St. Ambrose. He became a monk, priest, preacher, and bishop, and was declared one of only 33 "Doctors of the Church" because of his faith and his brilliant writings defending Catholic doctrine. I have found some of the most beautiful prayers composed by St. Augustine, which I'll share later, but here is one of his most famous lines which sums up the Christian faith...

"Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you."

St. Patrick's Day this year was a most joyous occasion as we shared the news of our pregnancy with our family and friends. Mary Clare was giddy with excitement and spent the rest of the day helping me with chores and commenting about the baby, "you can't lean over, you have a baby in your tummy!...I have to pick up because you have to rest...You can't have juice because you have to eat healthy!" We spent the afternoon with my parents and my visiting aunt, walking through an outdoor mall and eating a delicious dinner. It was a most memorable day! I also was awestruck by the beautiful St. Patrick's Breastplate prayer which I posted that day on the blog. The story is that Steven's middle name was almost Patrick, until his dad found out it was St. Joseph's feast day. And we have a very Irish last name, so Patrick fits well.

As it was during the time of my miscarriage of Agnes, I feel so loved by God right now and surrounded by his grace. Here are some of the things which made me smile this week:

Gorgeous roses from a sweet friend too far away:


I never buy this kind of cereal (Can you even call it cereal? Hope I'm not scandalizing you, Emily!), but since it was on sale, I went ahead and the girls have been so excited about this special breakfast (and lunch and dinner) treat!


Worms! Yesterday we made "worm farms" at the homeschool group's Nature Club.


And we keep finding cute little inchworms in the yard. It makes me thankful for all of God's littlest creations!


And PUPPIES! So sweet!




All thanks be to the Creator of Creation!

And I must edit to direct you all to the most beautiful reflection of family life in Alice's last two entries on Promises.

Adding Augustine Patrick

(editing this poem from the Loveliness of Babies Fair last fall to add our newest blessing, little saint Augustine Patrick)

Our Four Blessings
By Blair

On a sunny day in springtime
Here I ran to tell your daddy
Now a new life I was holding
God in all his goodness blessing
Then for many months we waited.



On a New Year’s Day in winter
Started many grueling hours
As you slowly came to meet us
We would name you Mary Clare.



Mary, like the Blessed Virgin
You will lead us to the Savior
Your sweet face will bring us laughter
Rosy cheeks so round and lovely
Little smile to melt all sadness
Like St. Clare you shine so brightly
Now our baby holds our heart.



On another day in winter
Now our toddler, she is growing
And we find there is another
But before we knew He made her
She was gone before we knew.

Now to dwell with saints and angels
Little Agnes God has chosen
Little lamb who lives with Jesus
The Good Shepherd holds you closely
You pray hard for us we know.

~~~

On a crispy day in Autumn
These new kicks I feel inside me
Doctor says you’re growing nicely
A third daughter now she tells us
And we grin to think of sisters
For a lifetime you’ll be friends.



On a lovely day in springtime
Here we meet our newest daughter
Sweet Elizabeth Ann Marie
Now her sister looks on proudly
And another smiles from heaven
God is good; our hearts are full.



Golden hair so soft and yellow
Light blue eyes as clear as blue skies
And your lips, a kiss from angels
Sister love and children playing
Adds a new joy to our family
A new wonder every day.



On St. Patrick's Day in springtime
We would tell our friends and family
A new baby we'd be holding
At Thanksgiving we'd be blessed
With a new sibling for our daughters
One was giddy with excitement
Prayers were answered we were sure.

An answer not what we expected
This new baby would be joining
His sweet sister now in Heaven
And our own hearts would be pierced.

Augustine Patrick we would name you
For those Bishops strong and faithful
Who led others to the One God
As I'm sure you'll lead us too.

~~~

As God-willing we keep growing
Each new life His goodness showing
How our God comes down to meet us
In His Son and in our children
New life always helps us see
Just how the loveliness of babies
Is a sign from Him to me.




(professional photos by Jen at Jen Culotta Photography)

Finding some smiles...

Daddy bought Mary Clare a new swing on Sunday, which helped her feel a little better. She wants to swing all day long! And thankfully she knows how to "pump" herself!


And yesterday my cousin was visiting from out of town with her two little girls. My mom came over too. That definitely brightened our day! Here is my cousin, her girls who are 6 and 2, my girls, and my mom on our way out to eat.


Thank you all so much for your prayers and condolences. It feels so good to know we are covered in prayer. This is our 2nd loss, I miscarried Agnes between Mary Clare and Ellie (almost exactly 3 yrs ago). But that time I didn't even know I was pregnant until I had miscarried. This time we had 3 days of pure excitement, filled with hope about this new life. I was graced with that hope, unlike Ellie's pregnancy where I was so worried about miscarriage. We will take it a day at a time and continue to pray that God might bless us with new life in the future.

I'm sorry to those of you who received an email link to the blog...you were supposed to be getting the exciting news of the "Bun in the Oven" post. But it was a baby nonetheless and we're glad to announce that life to you.

God bless you all on this first day of Spring!

St. Joseph, Pray for us!

Today is the Feast of St. Joseph. May he be an example to me of faith and trust in the Lord.

O Christ, king and lord, your foster father Saint Joseph provides me with an example of courage to serenely bear the weight of life’s crosses and difficulties. Help me to see the beauty of giving limitlessly and surrendering my life to you.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away,

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

I'm pretty sure the baby is gone. Thank you so much for your prayers. It was a most joy-filled three days of hope, especially on St. Patrick's Day yesterday as we shared the happy news with our family and with you all. I am thankful to have held this new life inside me, and now must entrust this baby to the Lord. Please pray for our healing, especially Mary Clare who is most heartbroken :***(

Our Lenten journey continues...
In Jesus and Mary,
Blair and family

Bun in the Oven!

My new favorite food, both for breakfast and for sandwiches, is the frozen Ciabatta roll from HEB. You let it defrost for a few minutes, and then 10 minutes in the oven makes for the crunchiest, yummiest bread!

It brings me back to our pilgrimage to Rome. We stayed at a convent that had a bed and breakfast-type arrangement. In the morning we went downstairs to crunchy rolls with butter and coffee (well, water for me; I'm not a coffee drinker). Eating a crunchy Ciabatta roll with butter makes me remember the beautiful experience we had in Rome, visiting all the holy sites of Our Church, receiving the blessing of the late Pope John Paul II, and all the while enjoying it with 6 other newlywed friends from college. What a blessing!

I'm usually not a sandwich person, but with a little olive oil and some freshly sliced grilled or rotisserie chicken put in that bread and placed under the broiler...yum! And the girls don't like the crunch much, so I don't have to worry about sharing :)

And so, my dear friends...that is my way to have almost fresh bread these days! And if you thought that the title above might imply something else, and that I've been raving about this bread just to get you to the bottom of this post, you're right! A real bun-in-the-oven is due in mid November...yay! Mary Clare's prayers for a baby were answered :)

Please keep us and this new blessing in your prayers. Thank you!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick's Breastplate

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through the belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of Doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.

Amen

~~~~~

Can I just say that I love being Catholic! I've never read this prayer before, except the "Christ with me part", but isn't it beautiful? I wish my printer worked so I could have it with my in my prayer time each day!

I need to get a little more in the Irish spirit...we have a very Irish last name and lots of Irish heritage. Hmmm, what could I make and use some green food coloring? I think we'll be having beef fajitas for lunch; maybe I'll bake a cake. Or maybe I'll just get motivated enough to bake some bread like hubby has been requesting...and add a little green to it ;)

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all!

From Today's Gospel

"Which is the first of all the commandments?" Jesus replied, "The first is this: ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these."

RODEO

Last night we went to the Livestock Show and Rodeo!

The girls might have liked the bus ride from the parking lot best of all!


In the stadium:


Looking at the mommy and baby bunnies:


An indoor hill of goats!


Cute tractor girls!


Girls and me in a tractor wheel:


Raining when we got off the bus.


We're still recovering. That was a big evening.

Promoting Confession!

This is a beautiful article about confession which Danielle Bean just linked on her blog. This part really struck me:

When a girl asked Pope Benedict if she could take the initiative in leading her parents back to the sacraments, he told her: “I would think so, of course, with great love and great respect for your parents, because they certainly have a lot to do. However, with a daughter’s respect and love, you could say to them: ‘Dear Mommy, dear Daddy, it is so important for us all, even for you, to meet Jesus. This encounter enriches us. It is an important element in our lives. Let’s find a little time together, we can find an opportunity. Perhaps there is also a possibility where Grandma lives.”

It makes me tear up to think of children longing for holiness but not given the opportunity to attend Mass or Confession, or to be taught how to pray and how to love Our Lord. That's one thing that was so beautiful about teaching in a holy Catholic school. The children were being formed in the Faith all day and thereby were able to share the faith with their own families, for the few who weren't practicing Christians. I am so thankful I can give this gift of my Faith with my own children and pray that Steven and I will stay faithful to the promises we've made to raise them in such a way.

Another part I loved:

Someone asked Pope Benedict XVI why we should go to confession regularly if we always seem to be confessing the same sins anyway. He answered, “It is true: Our sins are always the same, but we clean our homes, our rooms, at least once a week, even if the dirt is always the same; in order to live in cleanliness, in order to start again. Otherwise, the dirt might not be seen, but it builds up.

...And this cleansing of the soul that Jesus gives us in the sacrament of confession helps us to make our consciences more alert, more open, and hence, it also helps us to mature spiritually and as human persons..."

I thought that was a beautiful way to explain why we still need to confess our habitual sins just as we need to clean the same parts of our homes every week.

I am so thankful for the gift of this Sacrament and the gift of our holy priests who spend hours in the confessional for our growth and grace. Last week I had the privilege of starting a period with a new spiritual director who is a priest. It was a very different dynamic than what I've been used to with my holy motherly spiritual director. She knew me so well, knew just what to say to make me feel so loved by God, so confident of his will for me, and so open to cry and share my soul with her. But Father gave me some different beautiful gifts...one was in helping me to see one of my big tendencies I've been struggling with in a positive light, and the other was through offering me the Sacrament of Confession so that my soul would be filled with grace and ready to continue on my spiritual journey with greater fervor.

I hope that I can be more faithful in attending Confession myself and promoting it among my friends and family. So all you Catholics who are reading...when was the last time you allowed Christ to fill you with the graces of Confession? This is a great time of the year to do just that!

I also wanted to add what a beautiful experience it has been to attend Confession and spiritual direction even when I have the children with me. I still recall a time last year when I was in Confession with a wonderful elderly Franciscan priest. He was so happy and filled with joy seeing my girls! He found a beautiful decade rosary in his bag to give to Mary Clare and she still remembers that special rosary. I was so worried about bringing them along to my first meeting with Father last week, but they were absolute angels! So many times the priests thank me for having them there and it makes them smile to watch their little antics while trying to behave.

My confession was almost over last week and the girls had been utterly silent for the 45 minutes of spiritual direction and confession (although they did have some fruit snacks and crawled into the hall to watch school dismissal, and Ellie might've hid an important paper of his). But then just as we were about to close, Mary Clare came up to me and loudly announced, "Ellie has a poopy diaper!" And so my soul and Ellie's bottom were able to get nice and clean that afternoon!

Springtime Decorating Fun!

The dreary winter days come to a close, and the flowery springtime sweetness begins!

Some pansies outside my kitchen window:


We planted flowers in our St. Francis garden, a rosebush (clipped, to the left), and the Live Oak in the grass. Thanks, Mom and Dad for donating your tree and rosebush :)


I finally found some pillows that make our slipcovered couch a little more pleasing to the eye:


My mom bought us a nice springtime flower arrangement this weekend:


And our homeschool room decorating continues!

Marian Pilgrimmage

Today (well, yesterday since I'm up too late) we attended a family picnic and Marian Pilgrimmage at a nearby Catholic retreat center. The place is just beautiful and I hope we can go back more often. I'm trying to convince Steven we should try another "camping" trip there. Our first attempt at family camping failed miserably. Anyway, here was our afternoon:

It started with a picnic and then a Rosary. Someone was standing on each "bead" (stepping stone) and they would lead that particular prayer. It was just beautiful praying with all these wonderful families! We had Mass in the chapel right after this. Father spoke on Mary's sufferings and how close she is to us when we suffer, just as she was to her Son.


Our attempt at a family picture. Mary Clare isn't too cooperative.


My sweet matching girls!



This playground was so neat! I wanted to climb through it!


Another gift was meeting Canadian Catholic singer Janelle again. She's a beautiful soul with a true gift for music, but also a homeschooling mom of a little boy and one on the way!

Tomorrow I'll have to update with some pictures of our yard work. Steven planted a live oak in the front yard and I planted some pansies and marigolds. I've never done this before (besides my Mexican petunia experience), so I'm not sure they'll last long, but I think they'll look pretty tomorrow! We finished in the dark, so I'll be happy to see my yard in the morning!

Finally, if you could say a little prayer for Mary Clare...she's been having nighttime coughing fits again. I think it's allergies with the horrible pollen right now. We have yellow/green all over our cars and shoes and I'm sure it's all in her lungs. Poor baby, she always gets such horrid coughs. I'm hoping it's not asthma. St. Blaise, patron of throats pray for us!

Veronica, Veronica

Wherefore art thou, Veronica?

As most of you know, our dearest friends moved to the Middle East just when we moved back to town in January. Last week they were blessed to move into a brand new home and I can't wait to see pictures of the home where they will spend the next few years! But really I just can't wait to talk to my sweet friend. I assume they have no internet or phone for the time being, although we are really thankful that they normally have a local line where we can still talk most days even though they live on the other side of the world!

Steven told me today that they don't have daylight savings time so we will now be "only" 8 hours behind them instead of 9! But now I've realized that this is not such a good setup. When I want to call Veronica at our usual 11pm/7am time, it will only be 6am for her. And it will be later in the evening for her if I want to call in the morning...so confusing! Not to mention the way the days of the week work there...the work week is Sun-Thurs, so weekends are Fri and Sat. But I'm sure we'll find a way to work it out. I mean, girls will find a way to talk on the phone, no matter what!

We miss you guys, Vero y Kike (y Quito y Palo)! Can't wait to see you this summer and to talk to you soon!!!

Veronica holding her goddaughter Ellie the day she was born

Theology at Breakfast

Mary Clare: "Mommy, if God made everything then who made God?"

Ellie: "E-I-E-I-O, Moo moo here, E-I-E-I-O!"

Thankful Thursdays

Tonight I'm really thankful that my sweet husband now has a job where he is home in the evenings and on weekends. Really thankful. Tonight he got tied up unexpectedly at the ranch for a few hours and won't be getting home until after 8:00. I am exhausted. Our only big activity today was our first homeschool "Nature Club" at the park for a few hours. But this entailed making lunches (which the girls didn't want to eat because they were too excited seeing all the kids), finding some materials for the lesson, finding clean clothes and shoes for the girls, coercing them into wearing the clothes and shoes I'd picked out, spending 3 hours chasing Ellie around the park, both girls getting covered in paint, and then both girls getting covered in sand from the volleyball court. Mary Clare didn't take a nap so I've had no break. I woke Ellie up from her nap early so she wouldn't be up all night. That was a bad idea, she fussed for about 2 hours and is still whiney. And just now, at 7:30 MC decided she wanted to "do homeschool"! Thankfully that only lasted a few minutes. But now Ellie is throwing a fit because she wants nail polish on!

I love my girls. I love staying home with them. I don't usually mind a full day and night without Steven home...I've done years of that so it's not so hard. But an *unexpected* evening without him home is the hardest. Although I'm exhausted, all I want to do is go out and shop by myself! Silly Lillian informed me that the Marshall's MegaStore nearby is open until 9:30. I'm watching the clock ;)

Some happy pictures:
Sweet girls with sweet puppies!


The nature lesson today, praying "Father, We Thank Thee"


I keep thinking of meaningful ideas for entries, but once I get here they're gone. Maybe next week :) Have a great weekend, everyone!

Ring Around the Rosies

Ellie from a couple weeks ago. Sorry for the family talking in the background :)


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Mary Clare's Spanish Lesson

For Enriquito! Gotta love that RRRR!


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Introducing...

Holly and her 5 little puppies! My dad helped deliver them all night. The girls can't wait to go to NeNe and PaPa's house to see them!

This morning at the zoo