What a day.

Today has been another long one.

Woke up at 12:30am to check the one on the floor mattress beside me. Wet again. Take off wet clothes and put wet blankets in the wash. Read some emails and write a blog post. Wander back to bed and sleep a few more hours. Then husband needs me. Help finding clothes, looking things up online. A few more minutes and he's gone to work and I'm back in bed, struggling to find slumber once again.

It was a calm morning. The children happily awaken and make their own cinnamon toast. I prepare the lessons, Q is for Quilt. They are excited to make their own quilt weaving papers, and color the Queen of Heaven. Music plays, they dance and sing. They prepare for a mass in the living room. Our friend will be the priest, the books and candles are all laid out. After "mass", everyone gobbles up their quesadillas and devours some popcorn for dessert. Ahhh, I sigh in thankfulness that the day is going well.

But I sigh too soon. Before long I have screamers refusing to do schoolwork, castle-wreckers, face-slappers, with bats and golf clubs chasing through the house. Dolls are put up high, cars are hidden, Time outs are completed, chores are given. Time to clean up the tornado which has ensued.

"He's coloring on the furniture!" Ah, to top it off. We are nearly done tidying up and baby doesn't understand. He screams to get the marker back; I just hope it is washable! I run for the wet wipes. One quick swipe and the damage is undone. Oh, where is the wet wipe for my home? The wet wipe for my discipline issues? The wet wipe for my anxiety and fears? Can I wipe away the ugly voices I made earlier today? Can't I wipe away the nightmares which have faced my friends in past months? One quick swoop and the house is clean?

I long to start anew. A fresh day with new attitudes, new joys. To dream new dreams and hope new hopes. I remember that sacrament that first wipes the sin away, and the other that continually washes us, offers us another chance to start again. How we are blessed in those experiences of God's grace both in the sacraments, and in the little daily opportunities to love and learn....

After our tidying duties were complete, furniture marks were wiped away, but cabin-fevered children decided to start karate-kicking each other, using sofas as diving boards, and soon began a parade with tupperware on their heads and pitchers as shoes. After our little friend went home, I gathered up the children, finding missing socks and warm coats. I ushered them out to the van so we could finally run some errands, fill the fridge, get some dinner.

The van was dead. And Daddy was not coming home tonight. I'm sure many of you have felt that helpless feeling that comes with being stuck at home car-less, but for me it was just too much for this day. I locked myself in my room for a pep talk with Daddy, and came out ready to order pizza and give some baths. But when the pizza place claimed 1 1/2 hours as the delivery time, I rolled up my sleeves and spent an hour over the stove making dinner.

It took all that was in me to keep my eyes open long enough for all the children to fall asleep. What a day. But tomorrow is a new one, a fresh slate. New opportunities to love, new chances for grace. It couldn't possibly be worse than today, right? Help me remember, Lord, to start in prayer, to be patient, to be present, to be the best mom I can be...only with your help.