Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Struggling

Moving is hard.  We knew it would be.  Still, I think I started this process this summer with such a positive outlook on what this move would mean for our family.  I was ready for a change, Steven was ready for a job change, and this position pretty much fell into his lap.  But the move took longer than expected as we opted to go through with Steven Joseph's heart surgery, and then as we waited to find the right rental home here.

We've still had so many loose ends with getting our old house rented, having some doctor and dental appointments, and celebrating birthdays and holidays back home as the kids really wanted to.  Next week will be our last scheduled visit for the time being, and I hope that will allow us to move forward with life here, settling into our home and community, and making the most of this new opportunity God has placed before us.

But right now, I can honestly say that we are really struggling.  We miss our friends.  We miss our family.  We miss our neighbors.  We miss our ballet school.  We miss our church.  We miss our homeschool group, and our homeschool activities.  I miss the mom's nights, and I miss my stores and restaurants.  And I'm in a bit of a pouty stage about it all right now.

I'm trying to be positive for the kids and Steven is working very hard to help us all adjust.  Today I finally convinced Ellie to try out the new ballet studio nearby.  She wasn't impressed, and Mary Clare definitely wasn't...and I'm not sure if it's going to work out.  That makes me sad on many levels because ballet was such a big part of my childhood, and thus far it has been for my girls too.  They have met many close friends and had wonderful teachers who we admire.  And they are very talented.  I would be sad to see them give this up because they aren't willing to give this new studio a shot.  There just aren't many options around as far as dance studios go, so I'm hoping the girls might try it out long enough to give it a fair consideration.

Our homeschool was already struggling before we moved.  It's long days for Mommy, teaching the girls and caring for the very needy boys.  We always have lots of battles, but combined with the lack of outside activities or motivation, it's been hard.  We're pushing through week 13 over here, and I've just ordered a new set of books for Language Arts.  Maybe next week I'll give an update on the curricula we've liked and what I need to change right now.  We still feel this is the best option for our family at this exact time, but that's not to say that we haven't considered other options.  Hopefully the new year and new books will bring about some positive changes that make this a more positive environment!

So now, entering 2012, it's time to move forward...to get into our new routines, make some new friends and find some new activities. They won't be the same as what we're used to, but we can find joy in them nonetheless.  Our house is rented, and after next week we won't have appointments and other events pulling us back there.  I know God has a special little niche just for the B. family here in C.C.  We just need to pray that He will show it to us, to allow us to find our place in this new city, and to make our home here all it needs to be for a healthy and happy family.  Thanks for praying for us and supporting us along the way! 

I have to end this saying that I hate being whiny, but I'm trying to be real about what our family is going through right now.  Still, our struggles pare in comparison to what some other friends are facing.  A family from our old dance school lost their 3yr old daughter Aimee in an accident in front of their house, and our old little buddy Hans is facing some difficult treatments for his cancer in their new home in California.  Others suffer illness, death, house loss, and job loss.  They are all in my thoughts and prayers.

5 comments:

ViolinMama said...

Sweet Blair,

I have been meaning to get off of Google Reader for a while and post to you (it is so easy to forget to comment when on Reader!). I usually read blogs on my phone before bed, and tonight was in bed, read and saw this. I had to get out of bed and come to the computer to "talk" to you.

As a woman whose family is discerning a move to a new city for a fresh start (Ha! you are the first to know that! Shhhh lol) I read this, feeling every feeling you expressed - as I am having them in my discerning time (we're not even moving yet, and I'm worried about finding an art teacher we love enough, finding activities in this particular smaller town, finding a homeschool co-op, a church, piano teacher...). I could have written your post word for word on our discernment.

That said, I feel like God is putting this idea into our hearts and heads. I feel that some certain events of late are pointing us to this particular place - so I will be surprised if I am reading it all wrong. So, we'll see what happens. You know we have don't have a house to sell or rent tying us down here - ha!
But the breezes of God can blow us someplace, for sure!

Take heart. Know that your concerns are valid, and normal. Don't feel like you are whining. Moving is HARD work, and emotional work - under the best circumstances. It is also exhausting. Couple that with surgery - and I think you are superwoman! (BTW, I was praying so much last fall for him and you all. I am sorry my silly life had me so selfish from reaching out!) It also takes time to make friends, get out, etc.

Maybe see if you can go see a movie by yourself. Take a new neighbor? Go to a coffee shop with a good book to just "escape" some? Find some mommy group meetings, or story hours? Just don't stay alone - do your own GNO until you have girls to take with you.

I am rooting for you, and appreciate you so much! Stay strong Blair, and write what you feel here...anytime. This is your space. Process!! Hugs and prayers!!

P.S. Thank you for your WONDERFUL comments on my blog. I feel your prayers!

Andrea said...

Blair I'm one handed w/ baby - sorry to make this so short. But I just wanted to tell you your family's adjustment is close to my heart in prayer.
I've lived in Wyoming now for over a year and a half and still often feel much like you have expressed. I know how living in a new place, away from what you're used to and who you love is so very, very hard. I pray God offers you some peace in this new year, and that you all settle in soon.
Lots of love.

Kimberly said...

Oh Blair...I so know how you feel. Being an Army Brat, I moved 8 times by age 21. It was hard, and the adjustment phase was no sooner over, that I had to get ready to move again (we moved every 2-3 years).

Right now, the school district wants to move us to a different elementary school. I know you're not in that situation b/c you homeschool. I can honestly tell you, I am praying earnestly that we will not be rezoned, because I LOVE our current school. It's been a wonderful environment for our kids. But...I also realize God may have a different plan for us, and I am trying so hard to trust in Him, that He knows what is best for us. As a mother, I so don't want to tell my kids they have to change schools, but of course, our job is to be postitive, and help our kids adapt to the possibility of change.

It will get better, I promise. Try not to think about the long term. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Geez...I need to listen to my own advice!

Cathy said...

Hi Blair,
I've enjoyed your blog for a while now but am coming out of 'lurkdom' to tell you our story. My husband and I have been married 21 years, have 4 kids ages 18-6, and have moved 9 times- we are active duty Air Force. Moving is hard, mentally and physically, but we have always used the time during and right after moving to a new place to pull in together as a family. The kids don't have their own friends yet and we really encourage those sibling bonds to become tighter. We do a lot of exploring our new city as a family as well. I always tell my kids: friends come and go but family is forever. We also work together to make our new house a home. I spend a lot of time doing homemaking sorts of things and ask God to help me be content at home. He is faithful; I so enjoy taking my time to get our home in order. Sometimes you just have to adjust your expectations and pull in tighter as a family. You won't regret those bonds that grow and strengthen. I will pray for your peace.
In His Love,
Cathy

Anonymous said...

Oh Blair, I'm sorry it's more difficult than expected. You have the right attitude about giving it time. I have a feeling after time you all will end up LOVING it by the beach and will make friends and have activities that fit even better than before. In the meantime I will pray for patience for all of you (I know that's especially hard for kids). Peace my friend! Love and miss you!!!
Bev

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